Slick or Stale? Analyzing Apple's Latest Showcase

Can we ever have something that's just too sleek? Pat Riley's impeccably coiffed hair may argue otherwise, but the notion exists. And as I reflect on Apple's most recent event, where they unveiled their cutting-edge iPhones and Apple Watches, it appears they might have veered into that territory. Don't get me wrong; it wasn't a debacle by any measure. It's just that everything seemed... excessively polished? Lacking that organic touch? A tad too glib? Since the pandemic's onset, I've admired Apple's approach to these events. They've brilliantly transformed Steve Jobs' signature stage spectacles into a consumable format, especially in an era where crowds can't gather around a physical stage. In many respects, these virtual events have outshone their predecessors. They've become more inclusive in every sense of the word and offer a smoother platform to showcase product evolution. However, as I observed Tim Cook and his cohorts on-screen—mind you, not on an actual stage—yesterday, I couldn't shake a sense of emptiness. Everything looked impeccable, yet it somehow felt off. There was a tangible absence of tangibility, and consequently, an absence of genuine excitement. To some extent, my absence from the event contributed to this feeling. Undoubtedly, those present in the room would hold differing views. But, in reality, few were physically present, save for a handful of camera operators and production staff. Over time, it appears that the excitement surrounding these meticulously staged video events has waned. Perhaps it's the novelty wearing thin, but I dare say there might be merit in revisiting in-person events. This notion bears a resemblance to the broader return-to-office debate, an issue that has consumed Apple and numerous other companies over the past year. We've oscillated from the belief that remote work is the future to the realization of its inherent challenges. The true landscape is nuanced, varying from one organization to another. However, for most 

Diving into the finer details:

The updates to the Apple Watch appear rather modest — even the highly praised "Double Tap" feature, while visually appealing, appears to be not so new, but rather a repurposed accessibility setting made available to all. A brighter screen and a faster chip are always welcome enhancements.

The new iPhones, as is the tradition, claim the title of the best iPhones yet. It's an annual ritual, and naturally, I'll join in, eagerly anticipating the purchase of a new one, just like every year.⁵

The "Titanium" finish does indeed make a striking impression, particularly when viewed through the lens of a camera. If I were in Apple's shoes, I might have contemplated labeling this year's iPhones as the 'Titanium iPhone' to infuse some novelty. After all, do we really want to be discussing an 'iPhone 28' in 13 years? It could have added an element of fun to the mix. This is the same company that, until the advent of Apple Silicon, coined the term "Bionic" for reasons unknown. Perhaps we'll have to wait for the "Ultra" moniker to make an appearance.

The capability to apply "Portrait Mode" post-capture holds immense potential for my family. I often intend to utilize it more, but with children in the frame, quick thinking and actions are required.

Apple's omission of a novel stand designed to seamlessly activate the new "Stand By" mode in iOS 17 is indeed perplexing. While third-party options abound, Apple seems to be forgoing a potential revenue stream—a rarity for the company—and underplaying what is genuinely a fantastic new feature.

Remember when Apple was celebrated for its discretion regarding specs? Those days seem to be behind us, with Apple delving deep into the intricacies of Apple Silicon during virtually every keynote. While these deep dives are appreciated, it's an intriguing shift. Of course, when you have industry-leading technology, it's only natural to flaunt it. When you don't, well, you simply don't...

On a related note, it's worth noting the emphasis placed on the new GPUs, even in comparison to the much-anticipated transition to 3-nanometer chip manufacturing. And, as always, Apple teases us with promises of groundbreaking advancements in gaming.

The potential to shoot Spatial Video holds tremendous promise for the Vision Pro, provided it delivers even half of what's advertised. Of course, it also conjures images of Tom Cruise's futuristic interactions with family videos in "Minority Report"—perhaps not the comparison anyone wishes to invoke...

Action Button, Action Button, Action Button. Undoubtedly, the excitement for this feature is unanimous. Yes, yes, yes.

•  When considering individuals who excel both on stage and on screen, one notable figure comes to mind: Craig Federighi. It's intriguing that he remained conspicuously absent from yesterday's proceedings. Additionally, let's not underestimate the understated but impactful presence of John Ternus.

• This particular video appears to have sparked a divide across the vast expanse of the internet. It's worth noting that, in my estimation, it suffered from excessive length. Personally, I lean towards concise keynotes, and irrespective of its perceived significance (which Apple evidently believes it holds), this segment could have been more succinct. Furthermore, its lack of humor only compounded the issue.

• My personal viewing habits often involve revisiting such content on multiple occasions. These videos, while undoubtedly beneficial, serve to assist me in this regard. (Although, it's worth mentioning that the live versions were eventually made available for consumption, albeit with a time delay.) My primary motivation lies in crafting witty quips on Xitter/Threads during my initial viewing. However, this time around, I had the additional task of pacifying a three-week-old infant.

• Tim Cookie-Cutter, a rather unfortunate comparison, I must say.

• An intriguing proposition: a "Natural" Titanium iPhone 15 Pro Max, for the sake of the record.